Thursday, February 20, 2014
Boys and Being Self-Conscious as Depicted in a YouTube Comment
This comment struck me as odd for 3 reasons:
- This guy was actually being sincere and self-conscious (at least I think so)
- Body shaming is a thing among both genders
- The comment back to him
Then there was the body shaming part of it. It isn't just women being the victims of body shaming, men can be subject to it too. Body shaming, for those of you who don't know, is the putting down of one particular body type. For a long time, bigger, curvier women were the victims of this. In the media, stick figure thin was considered the height of beauty for a long time, and if you had curves, you were considered fat. Now it seems the pendulum has swung, and now women that are stick thin are getting flack for being so skinny, it's ugly.We most often see body shaming in women's world. However, it can happen to men as well. Women judge men. They have to be 6'2. They have to have nice abs. They have to have a good butt. We see men in magazines, and we want to get a piece of that. We shame other men in the process of that. We don't want bigger men, or men with beards, or men with long hair, we want what we see in magazines (with the exceptions of course. I'm not here to cause conflict, just stating what I see). Men are body shamed as equally as women, and it wasn't until I saw this comment that I actually understood that men feel as though they can't get a mate unless their like the models in the magazines as well.
And then there was one comment left by a woman, I'm guessing, It was something about eating clean and exercising and losing weight, then women will want you, something. I find eating clean and exercising a good method to lose weight, but the sole purpose of losing weight shouldn't be to find a mate. It should be for you to feel good about yourself (call me cheesy, but whatever). I thought to myself, that if this were a girl writing this comment there would be people on their keyboards saying that she didn't need to lose weight for any man to come into her life. So that's what I did (or at least I thought I did, it seems my comment has gotten lost in cyberspace). I commented something like "personality is key, and I know people who like bigger guys blah blah blah." I mean, we have to support the guys like people support the girls, right?!
So this comment actually got to me, and I don't really know why. I just wrote an entire blogpost about how on this one comment from this one guy I don't even know. Is this what writers do? Wow, great conclusion.
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Sunday, February 16, 2014
Top Tips: How to Dye Your Hair at Home
I've been dying my hair at home since seventh grade, when I first started experimenting with color. Lately I've been very happy with my dark red hair color. These are my tips that I accumulated over the years, followed by the routine I do when I dye my hair any color! Disclaimer: not a hairstylist, just what I do when I dye my hair!
TIPS:
6. I left mine on for 45 minutes, but time is dependent on your color and your hair.
7. Then I rinsed it, and put conditioner in. I didn't wash it. I generally don't wash it for 3-4 days after I dye it.
8. Then I let it air dry. And voila! That's how I get my color and fix my roots!
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TIPS:
- Don't wash your hair for a couple of days before. Let it get greasy. It will help the color adhere better to the strands. Try not to use any product during those days.
- If you have product in your hair, rinse it out. You don't want your product to get in the way of your color. However, don't wash your hair with shampoo or put conditioner in. I rinse mine out the night before, so my hair has plenty of time to dry completely and so I don't have to do it all in one day.
- I would recommend not buying box dye. Some of it has ammonia in it, and it's harsher on your hair than the professional colors. (Plus when you buy at a beauty supply store, you can talk to the workers to make sure you have exactly what you need!) I've noticed a change in the health of my hair since switching to a professional color.
- Wear old clothes. You don't want to dye your favorite sweatshirt. I have a t-shirt just for dying my hair.
- If you're worried about getting dye all over your face or neck, put some Vaseline on your forehead and neck. It will keep the dye off of your skin, so when you wipe off the Vaseline, the dye will wipe off with it.
- It's a messy process, so make sure you have permission before doing it. Also, put down an old towel or something before doing it.
- If you do get dye on your skin, makeup wipes or rubbing alcohol do remove it.
- If this is your first time dying your hair a certain color (or at all) don't be surprised if your hair doesn't hold on to the color for the length of time you want. Your hair may not be porous enough, you may be using the wrong shampoos/ conditioners for your hair, or it may be a hard color to keep. For example, the first time I dyed my hair red, the intensity only lasted for about 4 weeks, but now I can go about 6-8. (Lighter colors tend to wash out quicker, so if you are doing a pastel color, just know that it will wash out quicker than if you dye your hair black)
- I get my stuff together! I mix 2 ounces of this Ion Color Brilliance Permanent hair color with 2 ounces of 10 volume developer.
- Then
I section off my hair as if I were going to straighten or curl it. I make sure
not to get too big sections because I could make a mistake and not get a
section.
- Then I get smaller sections within the section I’m working with. They’re usually about half an inch in width.
- Then I start apply my color. I get a small amount and work it into my roots, then work it down the length of my hair. I take care to get every strand. Then I brush through that section with a paddle brush to make sure I get every strand.
- Then
I put my hair into a bun, and put a plastic bag around it so that it wouldn’t
get everywhere.
6. I left mine on for 45 minutes, but time is dependent on your color and your hair.
7. Then I rinsed it, and put conditioner in. I didn't wash it. I generally don't wash it for 3-4 days after I dye it.
8. Then I let it air dry. And voila! That's how I get my color and fix my roots!
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Saturday, February 15, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
10 Ways to be Happier
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Since Valentine's Day is coming up, I figured everyone needs a little more happiness in their lives. Because I am a strong believer of you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you, I decided that a happy you is easier to love than a miserable you.
We walk around in this world full of self doubt, and too
much doubt leaves us anxious and stressed.
We doubt our body type and size. There is the
all-too-familiar groan of trying to fit into jeans that no longer fit over our
thighs and the constant comparing ourselves to the models in the magazines who
don't even look like the models in the magazines. There are the constant
complaints from people stating that their butts are too big, their arms flap
too much, there is cellulite on their legs, their stomachs aren't flat.
We doubt our confidence. We are taught that we should be
confident because confidence is sexy. Right? But when we see a woman walk down
the street who is confident, we either compare ourselves to her or we talk
smack about her. We cower our confidence into a little box and we save it until
the time is right. Only that time is never right when we save it. The
confidence is tucked between that gaudy dress that you've only put on to
pretend you're winning an Oscar in your living room and those shoes that never
had an occasion to go to but were too beautiful to pass up.
We doubt what makes us us. We're told to conform into
society's rule and regulations, and if you don't fit you're the weirdo, you
need to change, and if you don't it's your fault that you get tossed out like
yesterday's trash. If you like Star Wars, you're a nerd. If you play video
games. you're immature. If you like to wear make up, you're superficial. We're
put into labels that conform us to a certain group, and if one person from that
group acts that way, then everyone must, thus creating harmful stereotypes
around every group of people. However, everyone is different. No one is exactly
the same. So the first step to letting yourself be happy is to open up to that
idea. You aren't stuck in a box with anyone else because you are you. What
makes you special is being you, not conforming to what everyone says you have
to do.
I believe the way to happiness is to try and shed this self
doubt that encompasses some of us in our daily lives like a snake shedding its
skin for a whole new beginning.
- Dance
Naked
or in your underwear. Become
comfortable in that body. Put on your favorite music, and just shake what your
momma gave you!
2. Make little, accomplishable goals
like,
“Today, I am going to smile at people on the bus” or “Today, I’m actually going
to do my hair, rather than put it in the standard side braid.”
3. Reward yourself!
If
you’ve accomplished a goal, reward yourself. If you reward yourself, you’re
more likely to keep accomplishing goals. That whole positive reinforcement gig
really does work. And your reward doesn’t have to be anything big or special,
it can be something as simple as watching your favorite movie or an episode of
your favorite tv show!
4. Tell yourself you are perfect.
I know. You don’t want to sit in
front of a mirror and look at yourself and say “You are perfect.” I get it, it’s
kind of weird. You don’t have to. However, you can say something that you did
well at or did perfectly, like “Girl, you really worked that presentation
today!” or “Girl, you look good today!” This crazy tick really does help to
build confidence in yourself and your abilities (because you have multiple
abilities).
5. Eat healthier.
I know when I’ve eaten more
healthy, I feel better about myself. I feel like I’ve really got my ish
together. I feel more energized. I feel thinner (even if I’m not). As opposed
to when I eat junk all day, and I feel blah and like I have a thousand zits and
I’m 234950039291 pounds overweight. This builds my confidence because I feel
like I’m doing something good for my body, and my body responds well!
6. Meditate.
Take
ten minutes of your day at the end, and sit, and breathe. In with the good, out
with the bad. Think about what went on that day, and let it go. Nothing you can
do now that can change the way things went today. And when those ten minutes of
thinking are over, you’re done thinking about today. It’s now the past. Forgive
yourself, and move on!
7. Dress up!
Put
on that dress you only wear when you’re pretending you’re winning an Oscar in
your living room with those shoes you never have an occasion for and dig out
your confidence, and wear it! Whether you’re going to the grocery store or
clubbing, wear something that makes you feel like a million bucks! If you’re
wearing something that makes you feel confident, you will feel more confident. Confidence
makes people happy, right?
8. Make a date
with
your best friends. Give your couch a break already (because let’s face it, you’ve
become a little clingy lately). Hanging out and laughing while eating your body
weight in pizza and cookies (I know, I know I said eat healthier, but sometimes
pizza and cookies with your friends is a good thing) will make you happier
because you’re around people who care about you (theoretically) and having a
good time around/because of you (theoretically)! (p.s. if it is theoretically
you need new friends, you know, or friends in the first place)
9. Make a journal/ memory jar.
Take
a few minutes at night and write something good that happened to you that day
in a journal, then you can write down all of the things that happened to you
that day. If there was a memory that day that was particularly special, like
you went to a concert or bought a new video game, write it down and put it in a
jar. When you’re sad, pull it out and look at it. Remind yourself of the good
times that you have in your arsenal to help destroy the bad times.
10. Address the problem head on.
If
you’re feeling sad, do something to fix it. You are in control of your own
happiness! Look at yourself. The spots where you doubt yourself the most, and address
it! “Yeah my hips are wide, but today they aren’t going to be thinner. I can
work out to tone them, but today they are perfect the way they are.” However,
if you’re experiencing long periods of debilitating sadness that is keeping you
from enjoying anything, go seek professional help to help you address your
problems.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Hair Journey
Over the past two years, I have had a love hate relationship with my hair. I want it long, I want to cut it all off, I want it red, I want it blue, I want it blonde, I want it black. None of it ever seemed to fullfill my need for an ever changing style in a world that stays still too often.
Anyway, I decided I shouldn't thrive for longer hair or shorter hair or blue, red, green or blonde hair, what I should want is healthy hair. If that meant it was 2 inches long, or 12 feet, it shouldn't matter as long as it is healthy. So I told myself "Autumn, for a year, we're not going to cut our hair, we're going to let it grow. Let's see how long it will get in a year. Along the way, we'll find the best hair care routine we can possibly manage, and we'll work it out."
That December (2012) I started my hair care journey. I started watching "Hair Care Routines" on YouTube like it was my job. I started watching "Hair Care Journeys" as well as "Transitioning Stories." I was so fascinated by the world of hair care that I wanted to try all of the secret methods that these girls and women talked about. These methods for letting their hair grow out so long and healthy, and I wanted to be apart of that, so I started trying methods for growing out my hair.
The first thing I tried was Biotin. Biotin is a B-vitamin that is formulated to help with hair and nail growth and with skin healthiness. The one I picked up was 5000 mcg (although it's recommended that you start with 1000 and work your way up because it can break you out if you dive right into it). I don't know about normal people out there, but it's hard for me to take vitamins every day because 1. I forget they're there or
2. I become cocky and I act like "oh, I don't need these, bye." So I didn't take them for long enough to see the results. However, I stared at the almost full bottle of biotin under my sink, and realized I needed to take them so they aren't just a total waste of money sitting there mocking me, so I have started taking them again. With Biotin, it is important to remember to drink a ton of water everyday you take it because if you don't, then it may cause you to break out (and if your break outs are anything like mine, they're cystic so the happen under the skin and are incredibly painful! So I make sure to drink my water).
The next thing I tried was coconut oil. This little guy was/ is my holy grail. The first one I tried was off of Amazon, and it was a little bottle because I didn't know how it would treat my hair. I heard about it mainly from African American women on YouTube who were transitioning from relaxed hair to natural, and being the curious little bugger I am, I bought some (and soon everyone jumped on the coconut oil bandwagon). I used up the first little bottle of it in probably about a month- a month in a half, just applying it generously all over my hair and scalp, leaving it on for at least 3 hours, then washing it out about 3 times (about once a week or every other week). After I used that bottle up, I promptly forgot about it. So for about six months, I didn't use it. But now I have the big momma 54-ounce jar. I can honestly say, that I can notice a huge difference in the way my hair feels, and how my curls are defined after I wash it out. And not to mention all of the other incredible uses for coconut oil! (p.s. extra virgin olive oil and almond oil are great for this treatment too!)
The next thing I tried were scalp massages. For about five-ten minutes a night (I usually do this while doing tedious homework) I just massage my head. I start at the nape and work my way up making sure I massage all over. This creates blood flow in your scalp causing your hair to grow faster.
Then it was time. The most dreaded part of growing my hair out healthy. Going heatless. Now, I didn't go completely heatless in 2013 because there were days when I needed my hair straight or I wanted uniform curls rather than the mass of frizzy wave-curls I have naturally. However, I have found some wonderful heatless curl tutorials. All you have to do is go to Youtube and search "Heatless Curls" and there will be more tutorials than anyone ever knew. I don't know if this did to much, but by not using heat, I minimized damage, so I would say it worked out. Maybe if you use heat every day, then it would be a bigger change in the healthiness of your hair.
And now for year two of having healthy hair. I have decided to not cut my hair until graduation in May 2015. I want to see how long it gets. I'm too curious to see how long the cycle of hair growth lasts for me personally. I started taking biotin again, but along with iron and folic acid (but we'll see how long that lasts). The coconut oil is being kept around because I love it for my hair, along with scalp massages. I want to go completely heatless in 2014, and I am excited to see if I can do it. Another thing I'm adding this year is to eat healthier. What you put on the inside is what you get on the outside. Hair is made up of protein and water, so by eating more protein and drinking more water, then theoretically your hair will grow faster.
(p.s. I do still color my hair because I like to change it up. However, I have reduced the amount I color it. Instead of every six weeks, I try to stretch it to every 8 or 10.)
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Anyway, I decided I shouldn't thrive for longer hair or shorter hair or blue, red, green or blonde hair, what I should want is healthy hair. If that meant it was 2 inches long, or 12 feet, it shouldn't matter as long as it is healthy. So I told myself "Autumn, for a year, we're not going to cut our hair, we're going to let it grow. Let's see how long it will get in a year. Along the way, we'll find the best hair care routine we can possibly manage, and we'll work it out."
That December (2012) I started my hair care journey. I started watching "Hair Care Routines" on YouTube like it was my job. I started watching "Hair Care Journeys" as well as "Transitioning Stories." I was so fascinated by the world of hair care that I wanted to try all of the secret methods that these girls and women talked about. These methods for letting their hair grow out so long and healthy, and I wanted to be apart of that, so I started trying methods for growing out my hair.
The first thing I tried was Biotin. Biotin is a B-vitamin that is formulated to help with hair and nail growth and with skin healthiness. The one I picked up was 5000 mcg (although it's recommended that you start with 1000 and work your way up because it can break you out if you dive right into it). I don't know about normal people out there, but it's hard for me to take vitamins every day because 1. I forget they're there or
2. I become cocky and I act like "oh, I don't need these, bye." So I didn't take them for long enough to see the results. However, I stared at the almost full bottle of biotin under my sink, and realized I needed to take them so they aren't just a total waste of money sitting there mocking me, so I have started taking them again. With Biotin, it is important to remember to drink a ton of water everyday you take it because if you don't, then it may cause you to break out (and if your break outs are anything like mine, they're cystic so the happen under the skin and are incredibly painful! So I make sure to drink my water).
The next thing I tried was coconut oil. This little guy was/ is my holy grail. The first one I tried was off of Amazon, and it was a little bottle because I didn't know how it would treat my hair. I heard about it mainly from African American women on YouTube who were transitioning from relaxed hair to natural, and being the curious little bugger I am, I bought some (and soon everyone jumped on the coconut oil bandwagon). I used up the first little bottle of it in probably about a month- a month in a half, just applying it generously all over my hair and scalp, leaving it on for at least 3 hours, then washing it out about 3 times (about once a week or every other week). After I used that bottle up, I promptly forgot about it. So for about six months, I didn't use it. But now I have the big momma 54-ounce jar. I can honestly say, that I can notice a huge difference in the way my hair feels, and how my curls are defined after I wash it out. And not to mention all of the other incredible uses for coconut oil! (p.s. extra virgin olive oil and almond oil are great for this treatment too!)
The next thing I tried were scalp massages. For about five-ten minutes a night (I usually do this while doing tedious homework) I just massage my head. I start at the nape and work my way up making sure I massage all over. This creates blood flow in your scalp causing your hair to grow faster.
Then it was time. The most dreaded part of growing my hair out healthy. Going heatless. Now, I didn't go completely heatless in 2013 because there were days when I needed my hair straight or I wanted uniform curls rather than the mass of frizzy wave-curls I have naturally. However, I have found some wonderful heatless curl tutorials. All you have to do is go to Youtube and search "Heatless Curls" and there will be more tutorials than anyone ever knew. I don't know if this did to much, but by not using heat, I minimized damage, so I would say it worked out. Maybe if you use heat every day, then it would be a bigger change in the healthiness of your hair.
And now for year two of having healthy hair. I have decided to not cut my hair until graduation in May 2015. I want to see how long it gets. I'm too curious to see how long the cycle of hair growth lasts for me personally. I started taking biotin again, but along with iron and folic acid (but we'll see how long that lasts). The coconut oil is being kept around because I love it for my hair, along with scalp massages. I want to go completely heatless in 2014, and I am excited to see if I can do it. Another thing I'm adding this year is to eat healthier. What you put on the inside is what you get on the outside. Hair is made up of protein and water, so by eating more protein and drinking more water, then theoretically your hair will grow faster.
(p.s. I do still color my hair because I like to change it up. However, I have reduced the amount I color it. Instead of every six weeks, I try to stretch it to every 8 or 10.)
This was my hair before (December 2012-ish). It's slightly below shoulder length.
This is in Febuary 2014. It had grown past boob length, but it's so big and frizzy that the only way to gauge true length is in the shower when it's wet. there's too much volume to be contained by a straightener.
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