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Since Valentine's Day is coming up, I figured everyone needs a little more happiness in their lives. Because I am a strong believer of you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you, I decided that a happy you is easier to love than a miserable you.
We walk around in this world full of self doubt, and too
much doubt leaves us anxious and stressed.
We doubt our body type and size. There is the
all-too-familiar groan of trying to fit into jeans that no longer fit over our
thighs and the constant comparing ourselves to the models in the magazines who
don't even look like the models in the magazines. There are the constant
complaints from people stating that their butts are too big, their arms flap
too much, there is cellulite on their legs, their stomachs aren't flat.
We doubt our confidence. We are taught that we should be
confident because confidence is sexy. Right? But when we see a woman walk down
the street who is confident, we either compare ourselves to her or we talk
smack about her. We cower our confidence into a little box and we save it until
the time is right. Only that time is never right when we save it. The
confidence is tucked between that gaudy dress that you've only put on to
pretend you're winning an Oscar in your living room and those shoes that never
had an occasion to go to but were too beautiful to pass up.
We doubt what makes us us. We're told to conform into
society's rule and regulations, and if you don't fit you're the weirdo, you
need to change, and if you don't it's your fault that you get tossed out like
yesterday's trash. If you like Star Wars, you're a nerd. If you play video
games. you're immature. If you like to wear make up, you're superficial. We're
put into labels that conform us to a certain group, and if one person from that
group acts that way, then everyone must, thus creating harmful stereotypes
around every group of people. However, everyone is different. No one is exactly
the same. So the first step to letting yourself be happy is to open up to that
idea. You aren't stuck in a box with anyone else because you are you. What
makes you special is being you, not conforming to what everyone says you have
to do.
I believe the way to happiness is to try and shed this self
doubt that encompasses some of us in our daily lives like a snake shedding its
skin for a whole new beginning.
- Dance
Naked
or in your underwear. Become
comfortable in that body. Put on your favorite music, and just shake what your
momma gave you!
2. Make little, accomplishable goals
like,
“Today, I am going to smile at people on the bus” or “Today, I’m actually going
to do my hair, rather than put it in the standard side braid.”
3. Reward yourself!
If
you’ve accomplished a goal, reward yourself. If you reward yourself, you’re
more likely to keep accomplishing goals. That whole positive reinforcement gig
really does work. And your reward doesn’t have to be anything big or special,
it can be something as simple as watching your favorite movie or an episode of
your favorite tv show!
4. Tell yourself you are perfect.
I know. You don’t want to sit in
front of a mirror and look at yourself and say “You are perfect.” I get it, it’s
kind of weird. You don’t have to. However, you can say something that you did
well at or did perfectly, like “Girl, you really worked that presentation
today!” or “Girl, you look good today!” This crazy tick really does help to
build confidence in yourself and your abilities (because you have multiple
abilities).
5. Eat healthier.
I know when I’ve eaten more
healthy, I feel better about myself. I feel like I’ve really got my ish
together. I feel more energized. I feel thinner (even if I’m not). As opposed
to when I eat junk all day, and I feel blah and like I have a thousand zits and
I’m 234950039291 pounds overweight. This builds my confidence because I feel
like I’m doing something good for my body, and my body responds well!
6. Meditate.
Take
ten minutes of your day at the end, and sit, and breathe. In with the good, out
with the bad. Think about what went on that day, and let it go. Nothing you can
do now that can change the way things went today. And when those ten minutes of
thinking are over, you’re done thinking about today. It’s now the past. Forgive
yourself, and move on!
7. Dress up!
Put
on that dress you only wear when you’re pretending you’re winning an Oscar in
your living room with those shoes you never have an occasion for and dig out
your confidence, and wear it! Whether you’re going to the grocery store or
clubbing, wear something that makes you feel like a million bucks! If you’re
wearing something that makes you feel confident, you will feel more confident. Confidence
makes people happy, right?
8. Make a date
with
your best friends. Give your couch a break already (because let’s face it, you’ve
become a little clingy lately). Hanging out and laughing while eating your body
weight in pizza and cookies (I know, I know I said eat healthier, but sometimes
pizza and cookies with your friends is a good thing) will make you happier
because you’re around people who care about you (theoretically) and having a
good time around/because of you (theoretically)! (p.s. if it is theoretically
you need new friends, you know, or friends in the first place)
9. Make a journal/ memory jar.
Take
a few minutes at night and write something good that happened to you that day
in a journal, then you can write down all of the things that happened to you
that day. If there was a memory that day that was particularly special, like
you went to a concert or bought a new video game, write it down and put it in a
jar. When you’re sad, pull it out and look at it. Remind yourself of the good
times that you have in your arsenal to help destroy the bad times.
10. Address the problem head on.
If
you’re feeling sad, do something to fix it. You are in control of your own
happiness! Look at yourself. The spots where you doubt yourself the most, and address
it! “Yeah my hips are wide, but today they aren’t going to be thinner. I can
work out to tone them, but today they are perfect the way they are.” However,
if you’re experiencing long periods of debilitating sadness that is keeping you
from enjoying anything, go seek professional help to help you address your
problems.
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