Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Special Skills Include

So I send off college applications this Summer. What even?
I still believe I'm slightly overdeveloped 12 year old boy in a 16 year old girl body.
Anyway, for this resume, there have to be certain skills that make you "marketable" to colleges. Things like honor societies and clubs.
But I have a few special skills that I think will make an interesting appearance on the "other" category on my resume.

Special Skills Include:

  • using the word "swaggie" in excess
  • Autumn Face- a face that reads disgust and hilarity at the same time
  • not being offended by blood and guts, but brains and puke really freak me the freak out
  • spending hours upon hours on YouTube 
  • not moving body positions for 6 hours at a time
  • not sleeping in a moving vehicle
  • not doing homework then pretending I left it at home
  • not waking up from naps
  • liking guys that are emotionally unavailable
  • avoiding people in the hallway by going into a nearby classroom
  • BS-ing my way through life
  • not working out
  • having too much confidence with nothing to back it up
  • crying for no reason
  • spilling substances all over myself (this is why I have no white clothing)
  • tweeting away my existence
  • making people feel uncomfortable by asking really personal questions too quickly
  • having no work ethic
  • living in my own filth
  • pretending I'm cool 
  • actually being really nerdy and introverted
  • knowing the entirety of Magna Carta Holy Grail by Jay-Z
  • listening to the same CD over and over again until I can't listen to it anymore
  • still knowing what mixed CDs are 
  • coming up with witty comebacks way after an argument ended
  • procrastination
  • eating alone in public
  • drinking my weight in coffee
  • sleeping my problems away
  • getting water proof mascara on my nose after I already applied face makeup
  • watching an entire series in a weekend
  • taking awkward selfies
  • being annoying and stupid at the same time
  • multitasking
  • putting on red lipstick without a mirror
  • taking ugly snaps on Snapchat and feeling no shame
  • turning down for life
  • turning up for pizza
  • singing loud and proud for all to hear
  • not singing very well
  • knowing how to use Google to make myself sound smart on the internet
  • trying to be hip by having a blog
  • not getting lipstick on my teeth
  • getting really nervous in front of cute boys
  • staring at cute boys from behind plants
  • selective hearing
  • giving strangers makeup advice
  • pretending I know who people are talking about to seem cool
  • fake crying
  • working with my face everyday
  • having frizzy hair
  • giving judgmental looks to everyone I see in the hallway
  • scaring freshmen by walking down the hallway with an ugly look on my face
  • not walking in heels without twisting an ankle
  • spending hours complaining about how much homework I have and not actually doing any
  • being a strong independent black woman who don't need no man

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2 comments:

  1. Hey, some of those should be considered "marketable"skills, especially the bs-ing your way through life.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's the way I feel about it!

    ReplyDelete